Thursday, November 18, 2010

Turn off the car, breathe the air

Simple Life
by the Weepies

Can I get up in the moming
Put the kettle on
Make us some coffee, say "hey" to the sun...
Is it enough to write a song and sing it to the birds?
They'd hear just the tune
Not understand my love for words
But you would hear me and know

I want only this, I want to live
I want to live a simple life.

I dreamed you first
But not so real
And everyday since I've found you
Such moments we steal
Like little thieves, we rub our hands
We hold our hearts between them.
But will you hear me and know?

I want only this, I want to live
I want to live a simple life.

Move on, move on
Time is accelerating.
Drive on all night
Traffic lights and one-ways.
Move on, move on
Parking violations waiting
Turn off the car, breathe the air
Let's stay here.

I'll kiss you awake, and we'll have time
To know our neighbors all by name
And every star at night.
We'll weave our days together like waves
And particles of light.

I want only this, I want to live
I want to live a simple life.

I love this song. I am so tempted to tell my parents I can't work for them. They seem so hardnosed about me working for them, and I am not in a place where I can really dive into a new job with both feet. I doubt my husband would be thrilled with me not working, but I honestly don't know how he would cope with me having another full-time job. Since I am not really capable of managing stress like others, it would turn out just like the last job. I can only give so much, and if I have to give it all at work, I have nothing left for home.

I have been thinking of going back to the YMCA. It is only minimum wage and usually only 12 hours a week, more if I want, but I could get a free membership- so somewhere to walk when it is raining and more importantly yoga classes, free! I have been walking every day and doing my yoga every day. I can tell the difference in how I feel. Still trying to incorporate a salad and fruit into every day.

I still feel trapped by all of the clutter in the home, but hopefully it will help when I get the garage cleared out and donated. Then I can work small spaces at a time until I am totally free.

I am trying to remember to breathe each day. I've even been teaching the girls to breathe mindfully. Tristyn has started to show signs of panic attacks, especially after school. The broken arm is weighing on her. I am so hopeful she can go to a half arm cast tomorrow, but the husband says that it is not possible for her break. At least, we'll see how it is healing and whether it is healed enough for her to ride the bus.

Not breaking my day into chunks where I drop them off and pick them up will allow me to have a more fluid day. Of course, the husband grounded Tay from his car, so I'll likely be driving him to and from school. At least that is only 2 miles away.

I have errands to run- mostly returns to make, then lunch/journaling, pick up kids, declutter the garage, take Tay to doctor and to get his medicine, eat dinner and crochet. That is a lot in the car. Tomorrow is worse. Drop off girls, get bloodwork done, walk, yoga, blog, laundry/dishes/trash, lunch/journal, declutter, pick up girls, Tristyn's ortho appt, back home again. I hate days that are one big to do list. Looking forward to the weekend and time to breathe.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Collecting Moments

by Feist

Helping the kids out of their coats
But wait the babies haven't been born oh
Unpacking the bags and setting up
And planting lilacs and buttercups oh

But in the meantime we've got it hard
Second floor living without a yard
It may be years until the day
My dreams will match up with my pay

Old dirt road,
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
knee deep snow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)

I got a man to stick it out
And make a home from a rented house oh
And we'll collect the moments one by one
I guess that's how the future's done oh

How many acres, how much light
Tucked in the woods and out of sight
Talk to the neighbours and tip my cap
On a little road barely on the map

Old dirt road,
mushaboom, mushaboom)
knee deep snow
mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow,
mushaboom, mushaboom)
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Old dirt road rambling rose
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Well I'm Solddddddddddddddd

I heard this while walking on the nature trail this morning, and I thought it was such a lovely way to describe life, "collecting moments one by one." I am going to try to be more mindful about collecting moments. I popped a soccer ball in the trunk for when I pick up the girls so that we might stop by the soccer field and run around a bit. Or else, I might paint their nails, since they have been dying to do this for weeks.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Life Update

Quit the new job after multiple negative incidents in the way I was being treated. Bible study is almost over, as is group therapy. We've been attending the UU church lately and LOVE it! Probably going to join soon. I am not even considering working until January. I am supposed to work for my parents, but not sure that is the best option, though they are offering me the right pay and 8:30 -2:00 which is ideal hours. I have 2 months to consider though. For now it is to finish decluttering the house and tackling all those tasks that I've been procrastinating, like getting the car fixed and going to the dentist. So now that I am officially unemployed for the second time in 2 months, I shall be updating my progress more often. L

Why dump Facebook and Twitter?

A friend recently summed up the Facebook-era of online activity succinctly, stating “it feels as exciting or thought provocative as watching an episode of Ellen.” Adding the phrase, “it feels like your Mom’s internet.”
In many ways we agree. The whole online experience today feels like a time-wasting trip to the suburban mall. Maybe it’s all the senseless chatter, commercial signage and snapshot voguing that echos the food court environment. Or maybe it’s all the young girls.
That’s the one, great step forward in the social media era. It brought women, younger and older, into the once exclusively male and geek dominated domain of “cyberspace.” …
Whereas all this social media stuff is purported to be keeping everyone connected, in reality it’s all just pretending your famous. Facebook / Twitter / et al are only about emulating celebrity culture, with followers tracking your every minute move like stalker fans. It is just ego stroking, borrowing from the culture of tabloid soundbites and newsmagazine fandom. As if everyone in corporate marketing is a rockstar wannabe. There is no real communication going on here. Just people who are sold on the US Magazine / Access Hollywood view of America, and now simulate it being by both groupie and B-list famewhore.
Whereas this publicity environment of constant press-releases used to be the domain of the media, today the situation is brands trying to figure about how to excite all these miniature self-promoters to buzz about their latest product.

from here

Don't ask me how I found this article. I was googling something about simplicity, but the part about twitter and facebook just being a way to pretend you are famous hit me smack in the face. I left facebook 2 months ago and so far haven't looked back. I reactivated an old twitter account to sign up for a Kindle drawing but I have found that I glean little tidbits from it just like my favorite blogs. I don't follow anyone I know. But it will stay a "check it when I'm bored" activity. Who really is saying things on Facebook and Twitter I need to hear? Not my kids, not my parents, not my husband. Not anyone who actually participates in my life. I get blogposts from my favorite blogs emailed to me daily so I can read at my leisure. I know what's going on at my church because I actually go there and hear the announcements. The most important people in my life just yell from the next room or call me. Likewise, me them...