Thursday, November 18, 2010

Turn off the car, breathe the air

Simple Life
by the Weepies

Can I get up in the moming
Put the kettle on
Make us some coffee, say "hey" to the sun...
Is it enough to write a song and sing it to the birds?
They'd hear just the tune
Not understand my love for words
But you would hear me and know

I want only this, I want to live
I want to live a simple life.

I dreamed you first
But not so real
And everyday since I've found you
Such moments we steal
Like little thieves, we rub our hands
We hold our hearts between them.
But will you hear me and know?

I want only this, I want to live
I want to live a simple life.

Move on, move on
Time is accelerating.
Drive on all night
Traffic lights and one-ways.
Move on, move on
Parking violations waiting
Turn off the car, breathe the air
Let's stay here.

I'll kiss you awake, and we'll have time
To know our neighbors all by name
And every star at night.
We'll weave our days together like waves
And particles of light.

I want only this, I want to live
I want to live a simple life.

I love this song. I am so tempted to tell my parents I can't work for them. They seem so hardnosed about me working for them, and I am not in a place where I can really dive into a new job with both feet. I doubt my husband would be thrilled with me not working, but I honestly don't know how he would cope with me having another full-time job. Since I am not really capable of managing stress like others, it would turn out just like the last job. I can only give so much, and if I have to give it all at work, I have nothing left for home.

I have been thinking of going back to the YMCA. It is only minimum wage and usually only 12 hours a week, more if I want, but I could get a free membership- so somewhere to walk when it is raining and more importantly yoga classes, free! I have been walking every day and doing my yoga every day. I can tell the difference in how I feel. Still trying to incorporate a salad and fruit into every day.

I still feel trapped by all of the clutter in the home, but hopefully it will help when I get the garage cleared out and donated. Then I can work small spaces at a time until I am totally free.

I am trying to remember to breathe each day. I've even been teaching the girls to breathe mindfully. Tristyn has started to show signs of panic attacks, especially after school. The broken arm is weighing on her. I am so hopeful she can go to a half arm cast tomorrow, but the husband says that it is not possible for her break. At least, we'll see how it is healing and whether it is healed enough for her to ride the bus.

Not breaking my day into chunks where I drop them off and pick them up will allow me to have a more fluid day. Of course, the husband grounded Tay from his car, so I'll likely be driving him to and from school. At least that is only 2 miles away.

I have errands to run- mostly returns to make, then lunch/journaling, pick up kids, declutter the garage, take Tay to doctor and to get his medicine, eat dinner and crochet. That is a lot in the car. Tomorrow is worse. Drop off girls, get bloodwork done, walk, yoga, blog, laundry/dishes/trash, lunch/journal, declutter, pick up girls, Tristyn's ortho appt, back home again. I hate days that are one big to do list. Looking forward to the weekend and time to breathe.

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